Have you ever stopped and thought about where you were - WHO you were - this time last year? Or even further back?
Most of the time, I am very future oriented. I am thinking of projects and ideas and laying the building blocks for creating what I want to create. But sometimes, I also think or look back on where I was for some perspective.
Recently we have been very busy expanding Tiny Haven. We now have two locations - one just outside of Harpers Ferry WV and one in Bluemont VA in Virginia wine country. We are essentially opening six new spaces at around the same time. So there has been a lot of moving parts, a lot of running around, a lot of me walking into a room or space and saying to myself, “what am I doing?”
I sat down this morning to journal, which I find helps me process all the thoughts and emotions I feel. I found myself writing about how I GET to do this, how I choose to do this work, and that even when things get a little crazy, I also know I can decide how I show up.
That felt empowering enough. Then I got the idea to pull down two of my past journals. I turned to April 30 in both, and low and behold I had an entry for the same day both one and two years ago.
Two years ago, in 2019, I had just gone through a zoning variance meeting with the county, to get our (original) property zoned as a campground. We had quite a few neighbors who were opposed to it, and it felt like running the gauntlet. Ultimately, even though we did get approval for the zoning variance, the amount of work (and money) we would need to put in to that particular piece of land felt like too much for what we anticipated getting out of it. Plus, the whole thing with the neighbors felt icky and made being in that spot not feel worth it. So I was getting ready to sell that property.
But I had also recently finished a contract with an organization and I was looking down the barrel of how am I going to keep going financially. So I was also talking about (and taking steps towards) selling our airstream and tiny houses and going to get a full-time training job (I used to work in training development). The funny thing was…. all I wanted to do was get into a position where I could make money to build Tiny Haven. Even though I was talking about selling the tiny spaces I had just recently brought into my life, I still could not let go of the dream…
I’m glad I didn’t.
We ended up on a different property, one that was much better suited for what we wanted to do. We started building it up, putting in the infrastructure, and were so excited to witness how many guests were coming in and the great feedback we were getting. It all felt like things were starting to work out when… the pandemic hit. Bookings disappeared. We literally were operating on a month by month basis and I was freaking out to figure out how to make sure our expenses were covered. I was one of those business owners who was applying for any loan or financial support I could get. All while wondering Tiny Haven would make it.
Both of those days were April 30, one and two years ago.
I wish I could go back and have saved myself some stress and told myself it was all working out, even if I couldn’t see how at the time.
Although those two times feel quite different than where I am now, there was also a common theme that still appears to this day. I GET to create my own life. I get to choose what I do with my time and energy. I get to decide how i show up. Empowerment doesn’t make problems go away, but taking ownership always pays off in the long run, because our life is a reflection of who we are.
So while I appreciate that it is important to be present and to look ahead, I also agree with this quote by Jodi Picoult:
“I don't know whether you can look at your past and find, woven like the hidden symbols on a treasure map, the path that will point to your final destination.”
We are not at the final destination and nothing is permanent. Our dreams will change, because we all change. But next time you wonder if what you love is going to make it… put some more love into it and just see what happens.
~ Danielle
